Suffering with mental illness was for me one of the most consuming, selfish, uncontrolled and distorted way of living. It took a toll on those around me and worse on myself.
I remember reading about the possessed man in the cave in Mark 5:1-20. I had so much compassion for his suffering. I also greatly desired for Jesus to deliver me like that man. The fact that Jesus did finally release me from the bondage of insanity still leaves me overwhelmed with joy.
But, what I didn’t expect was the fear of it returning. When I struggle with the residual traits such as rapid speech, occasional ear ringing, occasional issues staying asleep, etc., I sometimes worry that what God has healed is coming undone. It hasn’t, but that still doesn’t stop me from worrying, which quite honestly flies in the face of the faith he commands me to have. But still, the fear keeps cropping up.
So I pray today that the Lord would calm the storm within, and remind me that He is my good good Father. That He delivered me and He will continue a good work in me. That whether it is fear of my past demons or of the things of this world, that He would remind me again that I am His child and I can trust He won’t let me go. And finally remind me again Lord that Fear is a liar!